I wanted to be a mother for many years, and that hope shaped much of my life with my husband. We went through repeated disappointments that left our home quiet and emotionally heavy. During one particularly difficult moment, I made a personal promise grounded in love rather than expectation: if I were ever given the opportunity to become a mother, I would embrace it fully and without hesitation. In time, that hope was realized when our daughter Stephanie was born healthy and full of energy, bringing joy and renewed purpose into our lives.
When Stephanie turned one, we chose to expand our family through adoption and welcomed Ruth as a newborn. From the beginning, we were open and honest about her adoption, explaining it in a loving and age-appropriate way. As the girls grew, their personalities developed very differently. Stephanie was outgoing and confident, while Ruth was thoughtful and reserved. Although my love for both children was deep and constant, I gradually understood that children experience love in different ways, and feeling included can look different for each child.
As they entered their teenage years, those differences became more noticeable. Misunderstandings and emotional distance began to surface, especially for Ruth, who struggled with questions about her place in the family. One evening, after learning about a promise I had made years earlier, she became deeply upset and believed she had been chosen out of obligation rather than love. Despite my attempts to explain that love had always come first, her feelings were strong, and that night she chose to leave, convinced she needed space to understand her identity.
Her absence was painful, and the days that followed were filled with reflection and concern. When Ruth eventually returned, she shared what she needed most: reassurance that she was valued simply as a daughter, not as the fulfillment of a promise. I was able to tell her clearly that she had always been my child, chosen and loved every day. That moment did not erase past hurt, but it helped us move forward together. It reminded me that motherhood is defined not by how a child enters your life, but by the commitment, understanding, and care you continue to give as your family grows and changes.